Kids as People

Father and Son
Recently I asked my friend Greg Pecknold a simple question. How is it that his three remarkable kids all turned out to be so creative and passionate? His simple answer to me: my wife and I also treated them like people not children. Greg's son Robin is the lead singer of the critically successful band Fleet Foxes, his talented daughter Aja manages the band and his oldest son, Sean is a accomplished filmmaker and animator.

This got me thinking about my own kids and my parenting style. How do I treat my children? When my son and daughter were younger I tried to control every aspect of their environment. I worried constantly that they would fall down our steep stairs or drive a sharp knife into their petite hands. Now they are 8 and 10. I realized that guarded hovering Father is not the way to go. It may have been appropriate when they were toddlers. Now I must let them be themselves. They have to learn on their own if they are going to be fully functioning teenagers and adults.

As an involved Father I find myself capable but at times paralyzed by fear. Abraham Lowe says that "worry is highest form of exceptionality, it is an attempt to control others." Now that I've realized I can't control my kids. My job is to strengthen MY inner environment. I may be able to influence my kids behavior only when my supreme goal is my mental health and when I place value on my inner peace. Adding some self discpline to the mix doesn't hurt. When these 3 things are in alignment I am more patient and I treat my kids like people. I can only hope that my children prove to be as centered and creative as the three remarkable Pecknold kids.